Things you would not like to know about your teacher

Rarity, the glamorous unicorn

Sometimes you learn things about people that you would rather forget. And I mean weird and disturbing things. Like today our middle-aged balding British pronunciation teacher spend 5 minutes trying to remember the names of the main characters on My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic (which he eventually did) and even sang a part of the theme of series. How he moved from word final voicing to My Little Pony, we'll never know.

All hail Obama!

Yes! Another four years before the next possible end of the world.

Doping(?)

Does sugar count as doping in essay writing. (As if I would be retarding finishing my two-page essay, which I have been writing the whole weekend. What a horrible accusation!..... (go to lurk to fanfiction site)....)

How it is possible....

....that a human being sleeps poorly two nights in a row (less than 6 hours and less than 4 hours) and still now when night is nearing, I do not feel even a bit sleepy?
   I am going to die tomorrow.

Snow, dancing/singing stuffed animals and some chocolate

Picture is not from Joutseno

Now it is official: winter has come even to Joutseno. It looks like someone had sprinkled icing sugar onto everything. And. It. Is. Freezing.

Mmmm... chocolate....

   And because Halloween will be here soon I and some of my friends decided to walk to the town center to do some shopping for the Halloween party tomorrow.  And because shopkeepers do not realise that there is still two months till Christmas, we found lots of all kinds of Christmas stuff like stuffed dogs and frogs, which sign loudly Christmas songs and do hilarious dancies.
   And now it is The Chocolate Time!
  

Kiwi and western

Today I experienced two things for the very first time:
   1. I watched my first western with out giving up after ten minutes. If you have not seen John Ford's The Searchers, I strongly recommend it. You do not know what you are missing. It is GOOOOOOD.
   2. I found out a new number one for my list of things one should not forget into one's back. The list is 5. an apple, 4. 30 euros, 3. mandarin orange, 2. frozen blueberries and (fanfares) kiwi fruit!

What a.....?

My ah-so-perfect-copy of the screen

Winter and dark evenings are coming, so I decided to google some intructions of usage of the pedestrian safety reflector. One of the firsts results was link to Liikenneturva's website (Liikenneturva is an organisation, which try to improve safety of traffic in Finland). So I thought 'there should be some proper information. I click the link and wait. And wait. And suddenly the screen goes black and two light green bars start to circle aroung the middle section of the screen. It do just that: around and around. It has been spinning now more than 15 minutes and only difference is that the bars are possible little thicker than in the beginning. Gosh, I can wait to see what happen next!

Eligy for my color-changing tooth brush

You drew attention
But your bristles are falling
So now is good bye

R.I.P.

It's alive!

The horrible feeling when you notice Internet doesn't work....

Sea shells and moon cakes

Yee, tongue twisters!
Try to say:
Which witch wished which wicked whish. (Looks funny, doesn't it?)

Let's take another one:
Sally is a sheet slitter, she slits sheets. (That's an easy one)

Let's try a longer one:
Seven sleazy shysters in sharkskin suits sold sheared sealskins to seasick sailors.

And another longer one:
Sarah, Sarah, sits in her Chevrolet. When she shifts she sips her Schlitz,and when she sips her Schlitz she shifts.

And the last but not least, old classic:
She sells seashells by the seashore. The shells she sells are surely seashells. So if she sells shells on the seashore, I'm sure she sells seashore shells.

NB: one mooncke contain ca. 1000 cal

And after trying all this you can reward yourself with a Chinese mooncake.

Autumn=flu season

Shaman and his (of course) magic drum

"Nuhakuume, flunssatauti, eihän siitä kukaan nauti, jätä rauhaan pukki polo, anna sille hyvä olo, etsi tauti toinen kolo"

"Common cold, influenza, nobody likes it, leave the poor Santa, give him healt, find another hole"

I should probably try the previous hex of shaman (God, my translation is horrible) from Mauri Kunna's Santa Claus and the Magic Drum film.

Come to buy a pretzel!

A real pretzel

It has been two weeks since I was last time in Rautalampi (the over three hours train journey is too cumbersome to be done at the weekly basis), but this weekend is a special one. It's time of Pestuumarkkinat!
   It's an old tradition: a long time ago people of Rautalampi gathered every autumn to trade some goods, hire some helpers and, of course, to have some fun. Nowadays it's practically the same, except the part concerning helpers. It's the only time of year when every one of those who have moved  from their homes and those who have ever lived in Rautalampi come back.

Every Finnish market has at least one guy, who sells liqourice

   There is many traditions about the market weekend. The first one is the Pestuurock, an open-air concert at Friday evening, where the youngsters can listen local bands and get drunk despite the effort of the policymakers. But this year no one bothered to organize it, so for the great grief of our young ones, they have to find another place to booze.
   Other traditions concern the real market days, Saturday and Sunday. If you didn't lost  your wallet at the previous nights parties and you're feeling a bit hungry, you can go to buy some liqourice and pretzels, or as we call them laku ja viipurinrinkeli. If you really want to spent some many, go and buy a Jussin pussi (Jussi's bag), a plastic bag stuffed full of chips and sweets, which best before date is a bit questionable.

   But did you poor thing lost your wallet? Don't worry, we scouters are here to help you. You can go to our stall to eat some crêpes made at the open fire and drink some coffee straight from the pot and best part is, you pay what you please! (Warning: crëpes may contain some ash and needles).
   So now I am on my way to listen that lovely market bustle, the booming of firecrackers just next to my house and the interesting karaoke performancies from the beer tent.

Siivouspäivä = cleaning day

ship - sheep, lick - leak, dip - deep...

... and other wonderful pronunciation excersises. I think they may haunt me at the night. Maybe a sauna would relax a bit.

Sweet home Joutseno

The dormitory

Now it's over, my first week on my own. First time in my life I'm living in my own appartment (well, it's a dormitory and I live in double room, which is mostly paid by my parents, but still).
   Because I didn't get to the university to study psychology or English I decided to go to Joutsenon opisto, which is an adult education center less than 20 kilometres from the center of Lappeenranta, to study English. And the greatest thing is althought it last only an year and after that I still have to apply to university, when I get in I can start as a second year student, 'cause I'm already done first year's courses.
   The first week had gone, but it feels like I haven't done anything yet. The week has been practically just familiarization to the new school and it's custom, so I have spent most of my time watching films and tv series online, thanks to the WiFi of the dormitory. Only downside is all new episodes of every good series aren't going to be aired until end September...

Yesterday I get to now that last Friday eve a child I knew died in an shooting accident. I didn't actually knew him so well, but my town is so small I had connections to his family by many ways.
   At first I felt just dullness. It was somehow absurd. It was until I saw the news about the accident it was starting to feel real. It's funny how those tragic news that media is full of feel so different when you now the people behind the story.
   When we first heard about it it was so hard to believe. My brother told he has saw the boy just yesterday, Friday afternoon. It's horrifying to think how easily everything can end.
   Now all I can do is to pray strength to the family.

Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

- Macbeth

In sickness...

It has been a long time since I have had this hoarse throat. Yesterday I started like and cartoon character and today half of the words disappeare somewhere between my throath and my lips. It'll be interesting to hear what type voice I have tomorrow.

Greatest discovery since DNA

Finally scientist have found a missing piece of modern physic: the Higgs boson.
   For those who haven't heard early this week CERN's scientist released results which should prove the existence of particle like the Higgs boson. The Higg boson has been a theoretical explanation for how particles like quarks have an mass.

Read more:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-18702455

Summer is here!

Now it's official: summer has come! The signs are clearly visible. Butterflies, flowers, icecream, bicycles, folded jeans leg, pale people in t-shirts, middle-aged men with beer bellies on terraces... Only two signs are missing and my summer can begin: sandals and the first simming of the summer, or as Finnishes say heittää talviturkki.

Oranges are dangerous

We have been always warned not run to a street or climb to a tree or dive head first from a pier. But nobody ever warn about the dangers of peeling oranges. And it is REALLY dangerous. Expecially if you try it at your high school's May Day's party with pairs and using only one hand.
   So now I and my finger nail, which almost tear off are officially hating oranges. (But not in juice, orange juice is great)

Babysitter

I don't why there aren't more babysitters out there. Often kids are really nice (or sometimes even sleep through the whole babysitting episode). You can play with toys and do some a bit weird things (like ride with a broomstick or be a leucosyte). Or sometimes you can just hang around and watch tv. And they PAY for you for doing that? Maybe the world's easiest job.

Teacher teaches...

... or at least I'll try to do so when I start a temporar post (only four days) as a teacher in my old school. God, everyone look so tiny there, I'm sure I wasn't that small when I was in comprehensive school.
   And now I'll can go to the common-room where few has dared to go and even fewer has come back...

Almost in limbo

God, how boring it can be just stay and do nothing. Spending your day by watching Frasier online and browsering some psychological volumes to entrance examination. I hardly even go outside. Soon I may will become like Gollum. My precious....

Fingers crossed

Finally I had enough courage to go to ask my preliminary results of matriculation examination. Mostly it went quit well (except Swedish, but I could have quessed that). But in Finnish, English and psychology results aren't cast iron, a lot depend on score boundaries and the mood of adjusters. So now I have to say like Finnish children do while doing sandcakes: "Don't become a bad adjuster, become a good adjuster."

This is becoming a nasty habit...

I've now had the second part of my Finnish exam and my English exam. In studentexam we have 6 hours to do it, but still, in both times, have use ALL my time. I had been writing till the last seconds and my shoulders are thight and my biceps is killing me and I think in my thump'll have blister. Again.

Kony 2012

If you have some time, please, watch this video. You don't have to do anything, but you can be one of them, who make the difference.

Spring is coming!

Some slush

The winter seemed to be endless, but it has to finally give up. I can see the tarmac! Welcome slush!

My love-hate relationship to Swedish

Reasons why I love Swedish: 

- Its grammar is easy

- There's many loanwords from it in Finnish

- There's tiny connection to English

Reasons why I hate Swedish:

- It's so easy it easy to forget. Or why else everything come in to my mind rather in English or even in Spanish (which I've studyed only a class? 

After abiristeily

Bunch of drunk abiturs, a cruise and a storm. Excellent.

Abiristeily

On my previous blog I briefly explained what a Finnish term abiristeily mean. This time I'll explain it better with a clip of stand up. In that clip a Finnish comedian Niko Kivelä talk about abiristeily, microcars and shows the agility of his tongue.

The translation:
Niko Kivelä: The climax of last spring, I mean after the journey, was a abiristeily. I was there to perform, not... That math is really hard... A abiristeily, it, it was an experience. How many have been in a abiristeily? Hands up... now. Perfect.
(Talk to a woman in the first row) You were. That's what I expected. What's your name?
(Listen the answer) Tiina. You're really beautiful. You're welcome. Well, hmm, Tiina, when your went to the abiristeily... When you were there?
Woman: 11 years ago.
Niko Kivelä: When?
Woman: 11 years.
Niko Kivelä: 11 years. OK. Wonderful it came so fast, because I asked the same thing in Jyväskylä. The girl was like: "(count with fingers) Wait a second... 2007. What?"
Tiina, when you went there, you went there, I believe you understood the point of a abiristeily. It's that in the first time, you can be a woman as fully as possible. Eh? You had a miniskirt, eh? Boots? (makes a noise) Yes. I can see it. (whistle)
I've like this, (shows) and you've like this. (shows)
Boots, and make-up to a T, and the hair (blow into the microphone) I don't know why. (Blow again) Own windmachine with you. (Blow) Why it has the another one? (Blow) Work like hell with me. I do the same with eyebrows.
What I was doing? I don't have a clue. So, when you went there, hmm, to the abiristeily, walked throught the tube to the ship, there it showed clearly you carried yourself really, like you know you're good looking, (sings to the microphone) like (sings more and walk in slow-motion).
I don't know why Tiina go into every ship in slow-motion but, everybody others went like: "(walks normally) Hi, Tiina."
But then we come to that part Tiina walks there, (makes breasts with his hand) a little bit too small tank top. And you always ask for your best friend: "Is this OK? Is this too small?" "No, it's OK."
Shh, don't say everything, don't say everything...
Then we come to that part beautiful Tiina goes in front and then we come to that part biology teachers tell to us already in the elementary school. In other words guys come at least two years late in everything of girls. And expecially by physically and excpeciallyin every other things too. And there you can see it. Oh my God! Think about it! Beautiful women, hunreds of beautiful women, and after them there's three guys, visors little bit tilted and like: "I've a microcar."
I got nervous with them. I wanted to yell to them: "Come on!"
'Cause in everybody's eyes have that: "(blow to the microphone) Today I'll get."
When they leave the ship, it's little bit different: "(blow) Some day I'll get."
It's really clear. But the problem is, the problem of those kids is rap and hiphop culture. It overbear our youth. Goddammit, eight hoody one on the other, of course it press shoulders. "Jou." In some point they'll forget where the waistline was. "Here." What deeper your visor is, more cool you're.
The problem is when Tiina finds a beautiful boy by his face, your take him to the cabin and start to undress him. Your taking the eighth hoody off, you don't have a clue what's in there! After all there's a guy like this: "(takes a mike holder) Hello!"
He's so thin when he go home to eat, he put himself into the dropping! On the sweet day he put a Menthol there: "Mmm, now is good."
Now is microcar men. Does someone have a microcar? Don't rise your hand if you have. It's the most ridicolous thing in the world, really. A microcar. I was in Seinäjoki, my home town, where Iäm from, Seinäjoki. And there at the old junior high school's yard, my old junior high's yard, were all microcars of the world. That what I think, there they were. (makes a noise) Oh hell, do they do this so many? On one there were flames. Who pimp them! Who thinks: "now it's cool."! And then there's huge speakers, like: (makes a noise). That's what you hear in inside. On the outside you hear this: (makes a diffirent noise). When every covering is like: "I'll soon drop of."
On the second circle they're there seaching: "This is my piece, and this. This has flames. Jari, this is yours."
I really got nervous there. I invented a nice way to ride. I'm sorry guys, but I'll use it today. I'm the whole my life practised to make different sounds. Everything. And it always strengthen my tongue. I've really strong tongue.
Guys go totally serious. I invented this on that state, but girls, think about it, how quick a tongue can be. (Starts to make a noise)
Tiina can't look at me anymore. Tiina's boyfriend will be at mirror on the night, like: "(push his tongue out) How did he do that?"
Tiina, this is for you: (starts to make noises).
(Stamps a pedal) Luckily this DVD is taped so we can cut that part off. Hell how awkward.

Paid picnic

Now it's done: my first paid picnic this year, in other words matriculation examination. It's the major exam on Finnish senior highs. All abiturs (final year students) around the nation make same exams (they can pick up the subjects) on same days. The exam take at least three hours, but max. six. You can take your own provisions, but there can't be any text on them. Teachers even walk you to a toilet and back. And censors, who will check exams, they're quit... Well lets say they love to go to details.

Penkkarit

   Most students think the exam is ridiculously hard. Questions are often a little bit vague, and some abiturs have made their own versions of them, like 'Which one was first, egg or hen, and what was rooster's part in the business?'.
   My exam was the first part of  äidinkieli (mother tongue) exam. It's cutted up to two part: first, which I did, I had to write three short answers about given material. In the other part I will have to write just one essay from a given subject.
    On Monday I have a hearing exam about English and on Tuesday a hearing exam about Swedish. On Wednesday second year students organize potkijaiset (a party where abiturs are 'kicked' out of the school) to us. And on Thuesday we have a another party called penkkarit (abiturs dress to funny costumes and throw candy from tractor's trailer). And on Saturday and Sunday we're on abiristeily (a cruise only for abiturs on the Baltic) Yay!

When in Rome

In Finland we have a TV series called 'The Police' ('Poliisit' in Finnish).  It follows police patrols during their shift, mostly in night-time. Usually there's just drunken drivers and all kinds of night-time weirdos.
   This video caused some amusement among my friends in Facebook (partly because Kuopio is the closest big town and you can imagine how we countrymen deal with them). In the video Kuopio's police interview a man, whose face is covered on blood.
  Here's the translation:

Policeman 1: "Why are you messed your face with that blood?"
Man: "I drink it."
Policeman 1: "You drink it? Well, it's quit unusual way to drink that blood, 'cause it's messed the whole face."
Man: "I drink like this. (Shows)"
Policeman 1: "So you pour it from high to your mouth. Ok."
Policeman 2: "(Tells over the video) It didn't come clear to me that why he had been drinking. He just said he had to drink. And especially by pouring it from high, not by drinking from the bottle. Just pouring from high straight to his face."
Policeman 1: "(On the video) Ok."
Man: "But usually I do it out of sight."
Policeman 1: "Yes. Like propably this time, but the result is that kind of it might scare people. Now is best you go to home."
Man: "First..."
Policeman 1: "First what? First what?"
Man: "Have to wrap a cigarette."
Policeman 2: "(To his partner) Three and half permilles."
Policeman 1: "I don't know if he can go home."
Policeman 2: "Yes. And especially if he's going to stay there. I doubt it a bit."
Policeman 1: "(To the man) Well, we were thinking it would be better to stay with us the next night. You should start to go right away. You can wrap while walking.That was a bright idea."

Everybody love Noddle-Pete

If there is one character every viewer love in our play, it's absolutely Noddle-Pete, old and wise member of Matt's gang of robbers. Like Thuesday when a little girl ask throught the whole play about Noddle-Pete, and even after it she ask from other members of cast, where he was. Ooow.
   I'm not quit sure, what makes him so popular. Mayde it's the appearence.

Our Noddle-Pete

Ready, set, ACT!

It's again that same time of year when my senior high's theater group start its massive show session.Today was our first show, to elementary students. Tomorrow is other show to upper comprehensive students and in the evening first to paying audience.
   Ronia the Robber's Daughter clearly appeal to kids: they sat a hour and half quietly and still. And that's a lot. Apparently when there's enough board, masks and facepaint, it bluffs enough that they didn't even notice our failures.

Because there aren't at least so far any pictures or videos about the play, you can admire our previous play, Vahvat juuret. In this clip two rally fans teach to foreigner few swear words. It's placed EK Myhinpää, a real local rally race.

If you're interested, there's my free translation:

Guy without a cap: "EK MYHINPÄÄ! EK MYHINPÄÄ!"
Guy with a cap: "MIKKO HIRVONEN! MIKKO HIRVONEN!"
(Hirvonen is a rally driver)
Woman: (in English) "Excuse me? Excuse me? Can you tell me, where is the start area?"
Guy without a cap: (in English) "W-what? (now in Finnish) I didn't understand. Say again."
Woman: (in English) "Sorry, I don't speak any Finnish. Star area on this expecial state?"
Guy with a cap: (in English) "Neste Rally Finland! (now in Finnish) We're rally people. Say 'perkele'!" (Perkele is a Finnish swore word, meaning mostly 'damn')
Woman: (in English) "What? Perkele? Which way?"
Guy without a cap: (in Finnish) "Shut up! I try to help this lady. As long as I would understand, what it wants."
Guy with a cap: (in Finnish) "Then help if you can! PERKELE!"
Woman: (in English) "Perkele? This way? OK."
Guy without a cap: (in English) "My telephone number...!"
(Then start to play Rauli Badding Somerjoki's Bensaa suonissa (Petrol in your veins))

Share your blood

People! You have chance to save lifes by donating little time and 450 ml your blood.
Make a change today.

Merry Christmas and happy New Year!

Now when we all have at least hopefully charged our batteries, it's time to start everyday labour. And what could be better than starting with and exam?